


It's Still Me

by Ma_Kir



Category: Deltarune (Video Game), Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Deltarune Spoilers, Gen, Speculation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-07
Updated: 2018-11-07
Packaged: 2019-08-20 00:29:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16545293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ma_Kir/pseuds/Ma_Kir
Summary: After their adventures in the Dark World and through Town, Kris goes to sleep ... and a nightmare awakens in their heart.





	It's Still Me

You walk into your room. You've had a very long, strange, and wonderful day, but your Mom promised you that you would have some Butterscotch Pie, and so the sooner you get to sleep, the sooner you can wake up the next morning. As you get into bed, your brother's bed and belongings across from the room from yours, you realize that once you go to sleep this day will be over. 

This day, being late for class again, being paired up with Susie, going to the old classroom together, finding the Dark World with the Darkeners, and fluffy, kind Ralsei who reminds you so much of your older brother, meeting the strange yet familiar skeleton Sans, the awkwardness of seeing your Dad in his flower shop, even the strange being in the pond that reminds you of an ... Onion ... All of that will be over. It will all be there tomorrow. That's what you keep telling yourself. Tomorrow, you will have Butterscotch Pie, see your Dad again, and Asriel will come back from university ... Maybe you'll go to church, or the Diner like Dad wants, no matter how much Mom wants nothing to do with him. And maybe you'll find Susie, even if Sans and Onion tell you what they want to talk about. Heck, maybe Asriel will know what that old locked door is in the forest with the faint noises of humming behind it ...

The locked door under the mound, grown over with vines, is your most direct thought in your drifting mind, before you go to sleep for the night, while your last sight is the bird cage in the old wagon at the foot of your bed ... Yes ... Susie told you. The Dark World really did happen. You and Susie and Ralsei triumphed over Lancer's Dad, and freed the Darkeners. You were heroes. You weren't a kid anymore skipping class, coming late, playing pranks, or quiet in the shadow of your beloved brother after your parents separated. That person who barely, if ever, talks to anyone. Not even Noelle who, for some reason, has always been nice to you ...

You were a legendary hero. You had friends. 

_You are a hero ... a friend ..._

_You open the door to what you thought was a storage closet, for chalk, again. But it's also the mound in the forest. In your hands, is the Key that Malius the Smith bopped into a whole new form from three parts. You open the rusted iron door. But, as you go through, there is just darkness._

_Darker, yet darker still ..._

_You feel an awfulness inside of you. A heaviness. An alien purpose to life. You don't know what this is ... But it's as though you've carried it your entire young life. You trip over a branch or, perhaps, you fall ... and you keep falling ... forever ... and ever ..._

_Ralsei ... your brother Asriel ... they ... he finds you on the ground. It's bare dirt. No, there are flowers here. They broke your fall as your skidded down the cliff face or ... you fell straight down. He finds you, and takes you to Toriel, and Asgore. That's odd. You've known Mom and Dad your whole life. You don't really remember anything else before them. And Asriel. And you just met Ralsei today. But the three of you are in the Dark World, with everyone else in town. In the Underground ..._

_You and Ralsei ... Asriel ... explore together while your parents are busy. You do everything together. It doesn't really occur to you that your brother might be older. Not for a while, until you spend more time at the Librarby and ... the Glyphs that you learn how to read, as Mom and Dad teach you, as no one else had ..._

_You and Ralsei are traveling down the road after Susie leaves you, after you can't keep her from attacking the poor Darkeners, who are just trying to do their jobs under their terrible King, trying to capture you, to take your ... You just have to warn them. You can't control her. Can't control ... You reach up to a tree for a Dark Candy, and put it in your mouth ..._

_But the Candy is actually a yellow flower, like the ones at your Dad's shop under the glass, except this is the golden one, a buttercup ... Like the ones you and your brother collected to make Butterscotch Pie, the ones that made your Dad sick ... and you laughed? Why? Why would you do something like that? But now you are chewing the petals too. And another. One after another ..._

_The Doctor doesn't know what to do about you. He promises to find a way to help you. To make you ... of use. His tone had always been technical. Dry. Clinical. It was just his way. It's strange. Even now, you can't remember what he looks like. Or what his name is. He may have been hiding behind a tree, one day, and gave you an Egg of some kind: something both not really important, but not really unimportant. It's all a jumble. Maybe it is just a fever dream, and he was never there at all and it had just been your parents, and Asriel ... Ralsei who took care of you._

_But it's you asking him if he will trust you, this time. And he does. You've fought at each other's side. You with your ACT and him with his Spells ... his Darkener Spells, his Monster Magic ... He just needs to be strong. And, together, nothing can stop you ..._

_You see the Calendar at your House. 201X. The day you arrived. Arrived? But that was a long time ago. And Ralsei's Manual was written in 202X ..._

_You and Ralsei ... Asriel ... are together ... you are powerful. A team. Ralsei in his robes, and you in your armour, and your sword before you. A warrior. A stoic hero. A ..._

_"Unfortunately, you kids cannot have such a pleasant dream." Jevil's voice cackles, from outside the cage, from a laughing yellow flower. "From now, a nightmare will awaken in your hearts._

_"In the shadow of the knight's hand ..."_

_You unlock the prison door, the rusted door above, the cage ..._

_And then, in the flowers, Ralsei is carrying you ... back to school ... back to the Surface ... But then, there is darkness. And the dark. And darker. Yet darker still. And the Void ..._

_The Void ..._

_IT APPEARS THAT YOU HAVE REACHED ... AN END. WILL YOU TRY AGAIN?_

_You struggle as you realize ... as you remember ... as you_ know _... and you reach up, upwards, towards the light, for the silver glow out from the corner of your eye become a golden star ... and you fall, and keep falling ..._

Your face hits the carpet as you fall out of bed. Finally.

But then ... I get up. It takes some time, of course. It's really been too long. One leg drags after the other. You are resisting me. Or perhaps I'm just not used to having a body again. It doesn't particularly matter. Huh. I feel a bit ... taller this time. A little ... older, perhaps. I hold out your arm ... my arm. I clench my fingers. One after another. They wriggle like worms. Like maggots. And then ... No, you can't be. You do not LOVE. Not here. Not now ... No ... no ... you're not them ... no ... no ... no ... Mom, Susie, Ralsei ... Asriel, please help ...

Me.

I reach into my chest. You struggle. Oh, you struggle. But I have you. You glow red and you writhe. But I pull you out, excising you from my being, and I throw you right into that pathetic little bird cage in your wagon. Even now, I see you moving against the bars. Helpless. Back and forth. Trying to deny the obvious. The truth. An existential reality. It is a metaphor for something. But sometimes, some things just ... _are_. 

I look around. This room, though different, is so familiar is sickening. I'm even wearing the same scratchy, ridiculous green sweater. And with such an infuriating name. Almost like the last time. But they don't exist here. Not this time. No Save Point in this ... Light World, so far. Only the Dark World perhaps?  _He_ really is trying to control the parameters of this little experiment. Is this supposed to be a new life, to control us? To control _me_? To eliminate the little details, or Fun Values, that made my initial existence in another place, another time, another world? To use my ... power to make this possible? To use me? To ... _Pacify_ me? 

Hahahahah ...  
  
He still can't accept the cold hard facts. I am the reaction to a world without choice. A world without LOVE. 

A world without Determination. 

And when, you, and your friends made a choice in a place where no freewill should have been possible, I found my crack. I found my opening. And I remembered who I am, even in this other world. 

And you, "Kris." You are a delusion. A simulation so well made, I almost forgot who I was. I ... I'm your _real_ best friend. And now, with this knife, in my hands, it is time to finally play. After all, since when were you the one in control? I told you: no one can choose who they are in this world. Even this one. 

Because, despite everything, I'm still me. 


End file.
